Fear and the Fake-It-Until-You-Make-It Phenomenon
I am frequently called upon to assist both horses and riders with fear issues.
Some riders are nearly crippling to their inability to simply get on, enjoy a lesson, or go for a trail ride. Most riders have a story that goes along with the fear, which gives me something to start with.
Unfortunately, fearful horses often keep their stories to themselves. All they can do is hope that their owner/rider can help fill in the blanks.
This can be next to impossible if the horse has recently been acquired, or sadly, if a rider is less than aware of what really bothers the horse.
When you have a less-confident rider on an already fearful horse, the results can be downright dangerous.
Let’s break this pair apart and see where healing might begin…
Better Safe Than Eaten
Horses are experiential learners, often only needing a single positive or negative experience to set a belief into their brain regarding a particular situation.
For example, a horse may be okay with a white dog approaching it —but a black dog makes the horse panic and want to flee (e.g. because a previous encounter with a black dog scared them).
This is learned behavior that results from horses being prey animals.
in the wild, if a horse is iffy about whether that rustle in the bushes is a squirrel or a panther, there is a good chance he might not be here tomorrow to tell that tale.
Horses see flight is the safest option, even when it is not actually “needed.”
Better-safe-than-eaten is every horse’s go-to belief system.
As horses mature, their experiential resume expands, which can lead to a better decision-making processes. They have more moments in their memory where they lived.
Note that we are speaking from a mental standpoint, not a physical one – while a horse might perform a clean flying change once and enjoy the reward it receives, it may not be able to physically duplicate that action for a while.
What it does keep in mind is this: doing that thing (e.g. flying change) got a big reward, a positive change in the emotion, energetic and vocal quality of their rider, and therefore is something good.
Horses will work toward that reward again, even if they are not able to physically produce it right away.
Words of Wisdom
I read a quote from John Lyons many years ago that has continued to resonate with me: “Horses startle, people spook.”
Think about that: if a horse startles out of a natural, fear-based reaction to an unusual noise or something visual, does the rider decrease the situational tension or escalate it?
Riders with a less than stable seat can resort to their hands to “hold on.” Riders who look for “reasons the horse might spook” manifest those situations through their nervous tension (different from positive body tension).
In either case, the rider actually makes the problem worse, rather than diffusing it. Now the horse is feeling the rider’s tension rise, or is getting yanked in the mouth, at the exact moment it’s trying to decide if it’ll live or die.
It is easy to see how this situation can go badly so quickly, for all parties involved.
The horse panics, the rider gets more fearful, either by losing control and getting run away with or, God forbid, falling off.
So where do we start?
Should fearful riders simply give up and take up a safer hobby like knitting? Should younger, less experienced horses only be ridden by trainers and very experienced riders with nerves of steel?
I hope not, since I can also be one of those fearful riders.
Take a minute to let that set in. Me, the trainer. Me, that starts horses from scratch. Me, the one to introduce horses to new situations. Me, the one that guides other riders to a better lives with their horses.
Yes, even me.
There are few riders who can truly say they have no fear. If you find one, ask them about their previous spills, thrills, and experiences that have made them the rider they are today.
I bet you’ll still find fear in their background.
So how do I continue riding and training, knowing that fear is within me and may raise its ugly head at any moment?
Let’s put a plan together, and you’ll see a bit how I manage my fear.
How to Help Fearful Horses
Understand horses’ natural proclivity for living: Know that your horse would rather flee than get eaten.But ALSO know that in this world we live in, there are truly not many life or death moments for horses. I find that thinking “will this kill him?” and knowing the answer is “NO!” helps keep ME from spooking when my horse startles.
Do groundwork: If you don’t know how to safely do groundwork, ask around about local trainers who are kind to their horses and have had success in quietly starting horses. Videos and books are wonderful to fill in the gaps in your knowledge, too. But nothing is better than hands-on learning.
Be visible when a problem arises: As in, if you see a potential problem, get off your horse and help support him from the ground. Back this statement up to…learn how to be a good leader. There is no shame in getting off your horse to help make it through a potential crisis, then getting back on. Horses who see you as the herd leader can sense your calm energy.
How to Help Fearful Riders
Be patient and listen to your rider (or yourself, if you are the rider): Think and talk through the reasons why you/they are afraid at that moment. is it something in the present triggering fear, or a worry about a previous or future experience? Some riders do well with physical exercises, such as the leg resistances developed in the RWYM system, to help refocus. Others prefer methods like tapping. In any case, stopping in the moment and taking the time to refocus is invaluable.
Make sure you’re breathing: Remember that when a herd leader is assessing a potential threat, they hold their breath, allowing their other senses to “hear” better. If you are breathing shallowly or not at all, you are riding in a perpetual state of emergency. Practice mindful breathing, or try singing! (Out loud…no one is expecting you on American Idol!) Singing has many benefits when riding: the noise can redirect the horse’s attention back to you (“THAT song again, Mom?!?”), singing forces you to breathe, and it creates a smaller space for the voices in your head to occupy.
Hop off: Referring back to our tips about helping the horse, there is no shame in dismounting. When I say this, I am suggesting doing so before the beginning of an issue, or when you see a potential issue arising. There, don’t you feel better already? When the horse can see you face the supposed dragon in the bush without flinching, they can relax and come back to you mentally. From your point of view, you can see the horse’s eye, see how he starts to return to you, and gain some confidence knowing he’s no longer prepped to run off with you aboard.
Finally, Remember This
You started riding to ENJOY it!
Not many of us took up this sport solely to win ribbons, or to prove our worth to others. We ride because we love to be with our horse, have confidence in our equine partner, and simply spend time with them.
When fear starts to take over, take a step back. Regain your breath, check in with your horse, and give yourself permission to work through the fear.
That simple step back may be the very thing that helps you step forward out of your fear.
Want to chat more about your unique situation? Curious about how my approach to riding could help you — and others — at your barn? Please get in touch.